Boulder Aish Kodesh

According to R’ Tzaddok Hacohen, the particular trait of the month of Kislev (as every month has a particular trait) is anger. But it is not phrased as “The fixing for this month is to be rid of anger.” Getting rid of anger is not the fixing of anger. Getting rid of anger is the senseless tossing away of valuable feelings that are close to one’s heart. Getting rid of anger might be tantamount to throwing away one’s fire.

The fixing of anger is to know its root, and to find a way to channel the amazing well of energy available at that root in a more productive way. Frustration with the way things are is completely understandable – yelling at people about it is usually unacceptable – though we will find that there are times even for that.

Every character element has a shell and fruit – an appropriate expression and an inappropriate expression. The element of fire, when mis-expressed, comes out as anger or rage. Properly expressed, it cooks – it transforms what is there into a more cohesive, more useful whole that can be easier digested by the body or the soul. At its best it is a deep expression of caring.

Ya’akov understands that his frustrations will guide him toward his destiny. Ya’akov has to come to grips with a life where nothing is easy, where all situations are ambiguous. He might sense that he should merit the right of being first born, but he has to steal and lie to get it. And he may have to come to terms with the people out there who want to make his life difficult. And he should be frustrated – so, when he leaves the house of his father, he walks “charana”. The word literally means, “toward the place called Charan.” But the word, in Hebrew, means “toward anger”. There is great value in walking ‘toward’ anger. We might hope never to arrive, but we should know that there, in anger, are real and important feelings that must be expressed somehow. And they will be expressed somehow – now or in twenty years – in a healthy way or in an unhealthy way. They cannot be ignored.

This month contains most of the holiday of Chanukah. Chanukah at its core is about latkes. No, seriously. Chanukah at its core is about angry people who are fed up enough with their government and their people to fight. If they hadn’t expressed their anger, we wouldn’t be getting cool presents like our non-Jewish friends do in mid-to-late December.

It is an extreme example, but an important one. If we keep teaching ourselves that, every time we feel that passion come up inside of us that might be expressed as anger, that it is bad and must be ignored or rejected, then, when it comes time to express a justifiable anger, it will be absent.